Wink, Wink - the Quayside 5K

In a fit of impetuous mad-cappery, I found myself entering the Quayside 5K and the Battersea 5k. Both events are organized by Runthrough and the cost was twenty notes for the Quayside Event and a further twenty six for Battersea, the latter to be held in the summer. 

I am not sure who I am trying to impress with all these short sharp events, but when it comes to road racing, I'm aiming to keep the pain down below 20 minutes. As it turned out, Missus Mac also had designs on the 'B event' and we made our way to the Toon accompanied by PS and GB. We arrived early and walked the mile and a bit to the Baltic to collect our numbers. The course starts on the Newcastle Quayside and is an out-and-back affair, finishing across the Millenium Bridge in Gateshead. The bridge is dubbed 'the blinking eye', because after almost 5k, if your eyes aren't blinking uncontrollably in a Inspector Clouseu/Dreyfus fashion, you've simply not been trying hard enough. 

In the Baltic Building, an old flour mill, I dug out the new Mizunos (after slapping on the Compeed on the heels) and pulled them on. Snug. All white and pastel green. If these new mothers didn't save me an extra handful of seconds I don't know what would.  

I ran over the bridge and warmed up in an implausible manner that had the words 'feeble fossil' plastered all over it.  The Terry O Gara 5k (as the 'A race' is styled) attracts some whippets and with a cut-off time of 20 minutes, I only just scraped in. 

Starting at the back of the 150 or so athletes, it took me 10 seconds to cross the line. After that, things were just a blur of coloured vest wearing trainer-jockeys, its a knockout street furniture and bemused anorak wearing punters and their dogs out for a quiet stroll along the Tyne.  There are no inclines in this event other than the raised edges of slabs waiting to pounce, and, after a mile, I had clocked 6.09min/mile - a tad fast - on the second mile I tried to hang in with a girl wearing a black vest of the Rotherham Club - I reflected that if she had come 100 miles to run here, she would be full on and committed and I could keep out of the very slight headwind that threatened to upset the return.  However, she powered on a little keenly in the last kilometre and I was left to hang on, instead, to a tall Heaton athlete. The photos kindly provided after the event show me suffering badly in the last 200 metres with enough slaver hanging outside my gob to have me certified as a possible rabies sufferer. Missus Mac reliably informs me that this is due to dehydration - so note to self - drink more water before an event or wear a bag over my head when the cameras are around.

I crossed the line in 19:38 and was 3 seconds off 3rd M60. I could see the Tynedale lad in front, but couldn't manage to muster any more gumption to force me forward - I was cooked. Gas Mark 6. Vaporized. 

An expensive pint of Neck Oil and equally pricey comestibles in the Bridge Hotel afterwards, and it was back on the train to Peth. Mental. Where's me slippers.....